super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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