i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
