Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
