you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
