im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
