he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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