yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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