Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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