If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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