I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
