girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
