I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
