idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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