i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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