Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
