i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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