She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
