Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Farmville is her only friend.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
