I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
