She said her name was "party"
Acid is not a monday night drug
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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