all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
