He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
