Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
