I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
