Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
