Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize