U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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