That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
as a side note pls kill me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
