Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
