i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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