I'm lost and stupid without you.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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