I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
