he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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