At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize