he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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