How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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