She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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