Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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