she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
