i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
