I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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