where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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