Soap is not a condiment
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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