I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
