I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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