I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
