The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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