I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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