She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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