1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We need a shit load of segways right now
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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