You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
