and my herpes radar will keep us safe
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
